I’m going through a major transition right now. My previous post probably implied that, but there is definitely more to it than just books and libraries and all these thoughts banging inside my head. As many of you know, I’ve barely written since my arrival in Colorado almost 3 years ago (come March 5th);nothing seems odder to me than experiencing a foreign place and having absolutely no words come of it. Yet as I approach this major fork in my life, my perspective is narrowing–focusing down to a pinprick. Often throughout my life, my religion, my spirituality, has fine tuned my experience of each moment and offered clarity to what was and what will be. My faith has always been a torchlight with which I found my way. Now it is more of a telescope – a series of curved glasses and mirrors that brings focus to all these moments simultaneously. I’m approaching a moment similar to one in The Fountain where a single realization, admission, possibly surrender, collapses all time into a unified function where the past, present, and future coalesce into a multifaceted experience and understanding. It is almost as if I can focus the past to drive the present into the future of an almost perfect design.
Some would call this destiny or fate, but I’m not sure which of those apply, being that there is, to some, a pivotal difference. All I can reconcile it with is that all that has been, the perfect moments, the horrible moments, moments of great despair and joy, finally meet together at the nexus of purpose.
Anyways, just some thoughts pouring out here. Whatever is coming next is going to be big, and I think my huge writer’s block has almost passed. Here’s to the next few months!